"I am your Strength and Shield"

As I awoke today to Trinity saying, "Mom, I awake!" I probably didn't respond like God wanted me to. Over the last month sleep has been a thing of the past in our house. Trinity has nights that are restless and Trew has not gotten to the point of sleeping through the night, in fact he probably sleeps worse now than he did when he was a newborn. So when Trinity yelled for me this morning with that sweet little voice, I rolled out of bed, very out of it, and not ready to start my day. See starting the day in the Arthur household is not as easy as getting out of bed and grabbing a cup of coffee. Trinity has a lot of needs in the morning and at bedtime and I will fully admit that there are times I want to shut the door to my bedroom, pull the covers over my head and pretend like I can't hear those small voices yelling for me. I need prayer, BAD!!! I am tired, overwhelmed with life, and probably unbearable to be around at times (just ask Shannon!). But today God gave me some words to ponder on during my devotion time and I want to share it with you.

"Follow Me one step at a time. That is all I require of you. In fact, that is the only way to move through this space/time world. You see huge mountains looming, and you start wondering how you're going to scale those heights. Meanwhile, because you're not looking where you're going, you stumble on the easy path where I am leading you now. As I help you get back on your feet, you tell Me how worried you are about the cliffs up ahead. But you don't know what will happen today, much less tomorrow. Our path may take an abrupt turn, leading you away from those mountains. There may be an easier way up the mountains than is visible from this distance. If I do lead you up the cliffs, I will equip you thoroughly for that strenuous climb. I will even give My angels charge over you, to preserve you in all your ways.
Keep your mind on the present journey, enjoying My Presence. Walk by faith, not by sight, trusting Me to open up the way before you." Jesus Calling 365-Day Devotional

I am in a rut and I need to get out of it. Shannon is the most amazing husband and father. He lets me go do things with my friends at night and a couple weeks ago I got to enjoy a weekend with some of my girlfriends at a cabin. But see what I really need is some one-on-one time with my husband. I need a vacation!!!! I need sleep!!!! We are blessed to be a part of a wonderful church that provides Respite Night for parents of children with special needs, so we will be participating in that next weekend. I think I am having a pity party for myself right now. I look around at our friends and family and often wonder, "What is life like for them? Do they know how hard it is for us?". WOW, BAD ATTITUDE!! BUT, God is at work in me. He's changing my perspective on life and giving me new glasses to look out of. It is not about me and how I am feeling, it's all about HIM!! My focus is changing and I am a work in progress. We don't change overnight, but I do have the choice of my attitude everyday. I need to learn to let God take control of all the troubles and trust that he will see me through everyday! Being a parent of a child with special needs is not easy, and some days I want to run away, but I would not trade one day of my life for something different. God gave us three beautiful gifts; Aubree, Trinity, and Trew! Now it is Shannon and I's responsibility to raise them to love the Lord and serve Him. "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:11
My hope is that if you are reading this right now and wading through the troubled waters of life, I hope you see that waiting on the calm shore is Jesus and his arms are open wide ready for you to let him have the driver's wheel of your life!